Today's post during bowel cancer awareness month is the chapter from the Lives & Times bowel cancer fundraising book on my mum, who sadly passed away from bowel cancer in August 2016. Mum lived to see the book published, and in fact shed a few tears when she saw it for the first time.
This was one of the last chapters that I completed for the book, as I kept tweaking it as things happened with her bowel cancer. Finally, about a month before publication, I decided to draw a line under it, and go with where things were at that time. As things transpired, on the very day I published the book on November 27th 2015, Mum had her first brain seizure. The spreading of the cancer to her brain signalled a serious change, and her health slowly began to deteriorate. However, at the time of writing the chapter, we were still full of hope that Mum would overcome the latest setback, and it's a chapter that I am immensely proud of.
So here is the chapter that closes Lives & Times. The book is raising funds for Beating Bowel Cancer / Bowel Cancer UK, and it can be purchased from my bowelcancerfundraising website
Mum
When I began putting this
book together in Spring 2014, my mother had been in remission from bowel cancer
for over two years. After having had the operation to remove the cancerous
tumour in September 2012, Mum underwent two further operations, one on each
lung, at the beginning of 2013. One of the nodules they took out was cancerous,
which we had expected as it had shown up on scans from the very beginning, and
it had responded to the chemotherapy Mum had for the tumour in the bowel. The
nodule removed from the lung was a secondary cancer from the bowel. The courage
and determination with which she faced up to the illness and dealt with
everything that came her way was truly inspirational.
Unfortunately, in
November 2014 at her annual check-up the cancer had come back, and once again
it was in one of her lungs. So February 2015 saw Mum having another operation
to remove the cancerous nodule. This was the third time she had had to have
this procedure, which is major surgery. There was no complaining and, like with
so many people fighting cancer, she went with the treatment plan. There is of
course no other option. Six weeks after the operation Mum had the last of her
post-operation follow up appointments at the hospital. The operation was
successful with the cancerous nodule removed, and Mum made an excellent
recovery.
There can never be any
guarantees when it comes to cancer, and Mum is fantastic at looking forwards,
and living her life to the full and making the most of every single day. She
has had the most amazing treatment by the NHS, and fully appreciates that, when
it comes to bowel cancer, there are many patients who sadly have not been as
fortunate and who have lost their courageous battles with this illness.
The first photo was taken
on Mothering Sunday in March 2015 with Mum recovering well from the operation.
We went out for a family lunch and it was a great opportunity for me to take a
shot of three generations of the ladies in the family, with my sister, Ali, and
my niece, Anna, making up a lovely threesome in the picture. For me this is a
lovely family photo, and is much more about capturing a happy moment than analyzing
its technical qualities.
In the second picture I
photographed Mum with her horse Shimara, who is one of her most treasured
possessions. She has had a passion for horses all her life, and as a child she
and her late sister Carole grew up with horses on Maidenhead Thicket not far
from The Coach & Horses pub her parents ran. Today Shimara’s livery stable
is only a few hundred yards from the pub which is now called The Shire Horse.
They say never work with
children or animals. When we got to the field at Burchetts Green near
Maidenhead, where Shimara spends the summer months, Mum seemed to completely
forget what we were there to do. She was so engrossed in making sure Shimara
was looking her best, that she completely forgot that she needed to pose for
the camera too. I had to remind her what we were trying to do before Mum
started to behave properly. It was worth the effort though, as it’s a lovely
photo with both Mum and Shimara looking marvellous. Mum and I narrowed down the
choice of photos that I had taken down to about six, but we both agreed that
this one was our favourite. One thing I learnt from Mum whilst taking the
photos, was that when photographing horses their ears need to be pricked
forwards.
Mum continues to ride,
and is showing no signs of slowing down in her advancing years. Shimara is of
course very much part of the family, and we sometimes joke with Mum how Shimara
seems to be put above her children. There are times when everyone needs to find
a way of escaping, and riding horses has always been that escape route for Mum.
I know how important it was for Mum to be able to ride Shimara, and get away
from everything, when our father passed away in 2009.
I am sure Mum will make
light of her battle with bowel cancer over the last three and a half years and
counting. She may correctly say that there is no choice, and that you simply
have to do whatever it takes. However, throughout the four operations, time in
hospital, and the weeks of recuperation, I didn’t hear her complain. She never
lost her positive attitude throughout, and the way she has dealt with anything
put in front of her has been amazing. She really is an inspiration to the whole
family. The one thing that Mum focussed on during her time in hospital and at
home convalescing, was when she would be able to ride Shimara again. It is
therefore perhaps fitting that I end the book with this chapter on Mum, and the
photo of Mum and Shimara which will also be framed and take pride of place in
her living room. I can’t ask for a better endorsement of a photo than that.
As I finish writing this
book in October 2015, Mum’s most recent CT scan showed that she has another cancerous
nodule on her left lung, which is a secondary cancer from the bowel cancer.
This development was the last thing we wanted hear at her meeting with the
consultant. She will have a PET scan and we are hoping that Mum will be able to
have surgery in the coming months to have the nodule removed. In spite of this
bad news Mum remains very positive and upbeat. Typically, she already has a
steely determination to face up to what lies ahead.
