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| Jules and Mike at Abbey Road |
On Tuesday night BBC 1 Wales had the first airing of "Jules Peters: My Cancer Journey", which covers Jules journey of recovering from breast cancer, the reconstructive surgery that followed, to rebuilding her confidence, and supporting others. It's a must watch programme available to catch up on BBC iplayer. The show also showed Jules meeting up with the ladies "You Me And The Big C" podcast. One of whom, Deborah James (Bowel Babe) is a stage 4 bowel cancer patient, who I was lucky enough to meet last year for the new book.
I first met Jules, wife of The Alarm's Mike Peters, in the early 2000s at The Gathering in Llandudno - the annual event held in North Wales for a weekend of music by Mike Peters and The Alarm. I first tried to get her to go for printed "poppy" carrier bags, and sure enough the following year I drove to the same event with a car boot full of "Alarm" carrier bags. I can't claim to know her very well, but will always say hello and have a chat with her. Jules was extremely helpful in setting up the photo at Abbey Road of herself and Mike for the chapter about Mike in the Lives & Times book I published in 2015. I'm still hopeful that Jules will be part of the new book if she ever stays still for five minutes, and her feet ever touch the ground!
It's almost two years since mum passed away from bowel cancer. The way I have dealt with bereavement has been to shut down, and detach myself from that painful period. I suppress memories, and have found the fundraising to be quite cathartic as I moved into the next stage of my life. However every so often something will happen that gets through the wall that I have built, and hits you right in the pit of the stomach, bringing back memories and the raw pain that resides somewhere deep inside. In the documentary Jules met Nicola, who is another breast cancer patient still very much in the midst of the disease. The moment she told Jules about the cancer spreading to her brain, shook me to the core, especially when Nicola talked about the brain seizures.
Mum's illness lasted for four and a half years. Most of her treatment was surgical, and the cancer had spread to her lungs which resulted in four operations to remove cancerous nodules. Mum never let the cancer define her, and she would always count down the days post operation to when she could drive her car again, and most importantly ride her horse. She had such a passion for life. It was only when the cancer spread to mum's brain that things really took a really serious turn for the worse. Treatment options were running out, and the brain seizures became more frequent with increasing consequences. The final seizure left mum paralysed down her right side, and almost speechless. During her 2 months in hospital, the steroids improved her speech and she got a little mobility back in her right side. However, when she was deemed to be terminal, an moved to a nursing home under palliative care, the medication was slowly withdrawn and the everything went backwards. She was at the nursing home for just over a month, and passed away peacefully on August 29th, 2016.
I am not sure quite what I am trying to say here. Perhaps to explain just how a big a deal cancer is, the effect it has on patients and their loved ones. Jules crams so much into her life every day. Bringing up a family, managing The Alarm, being a band member in The Alarm, and giving up a large part of herself to fans every single day, and not forgetting reaching out to fellow breast cancer patients. She is an amazing lady, and an inspiration to many.
To balance things out here on a personal level. Yes the loss of mum, and to be fair also dad some years earlier, has been a devastating blow, and one that I am still coming to terms with. However, when I think about things there is much positivity to take out of those sad events. I have done things that I would otherwise never have done. I've published two books, with a third on the way. I have recently jumped put of a plane. I went to New York for the first time in May. And most importantly it's the many new friendships I have made especially with fans of The Alarm. Their support of my fundraising has been astonishing, and I have gone from being very much a loner at gigs, to someone who can now go to an Alarm concert with the confidence of knowing that there will be many familiar faces to talk to, even in New York.
So there you go, and I still really know quite what I am trying to say here! Live for the moment, hold on to what you have and those around you, and reach out to others. And watch the documentary! x
