This week, Rachael Bland, the BBC journalist died. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2016, and she was a quite remarkable lady, who touched many people's lives. Alongside Deborah James and Lauren Mahon, the #youmebigc podcast has got people talking about cancer, and has provided invaluable help and support for so many patients and their families. However, I am not qualified to write a tribute to Rachael, and there have been some wonderful tributes paid to her by her family, close friends and colleagues.
One of the topics discussed on the podcast was how it was unfair to label a patient's cancer being a battle, and something that you either win or lose. I have to admit that before starting work on the new book I did refer to mum's 'battle with bowel cancer', and 'losing her fight'. I have come to realise that I was wrong, and no longer use such terms in any of my writing. My mum didn't lose anything. She had no control over the cancer, and throughout the four and a half years managed to carry on living her life to the full, which was never defined by cancer. In terms of her treatment, Mum did everything that the doctors asked her to do with courage and dignity. If Mum had died from another illness I doubt the terms lost and battle would have been used. She loved a long and happy life, something worth celebrating.
There are three photos above, and I have to pay these three ladies great credit, as it was my conversations with them for chapters in the forthcoming book, that played a large part in me coming around to a new way of thinking about the use of certain words and phrases. I met Janet Ellis at her house in London, and she told me about the workshops she has done on the power of words, such as 'battle', and 'fight', and the way she talked about it really made me think long and hard. I met Deborah James in Richmond, and although this was some time before the #youmebigc podcast, she had already become a major figure on social media in talking about bowel cancer, and raising awareness. I had a really good discussion with Deborah about words, and everything she said made great sense. Finally the other Deborah James, who sadly died in July 2017. We met in Northampton just a couple of months before she died. She was so nice, and I was very upset when her death was announced. She told me how she had become a self taught expert on bowel cancer, and would do everything possible to to defy the doctors and stay alive, but she said she had no control over the cancer.
Three hugely inspirational ladies, who have helped come to look at this all from a new perspective and I feel that I really did learn something so very important from these conversations. The new book continues to be an amazing experience, and I continue to learn, and hopefully develop into a better person. So these words and phrases have now been banished, and after the recent #youmebigc podcast talking about the words, 'death', 'died', and 'dying', and how they needed to be reclaimed for use in everyday language, I make no apologies for starting to use them more often now.
Back in March I contacted Rachael about being in the new book, and I was really pleased when she said yes. Unfortunately I never did get to meet her, which is a great shame, as everything she's achieved would point to Rachael making a great addition to the book. Even when time had become ever so valuable towards the end of her life, she still sent me a short message wishing me luck with the book, which means an awful lot to me now. My deepest sympathy and thoughts are with her family and friends. RIP Rachael Bland.
