It seems apt on Mothering Sunday to talk about my Mum. I often blog about her in terms of the bowel cancer, and that journey. But of course bowel cancer never defined my Mum, and it is certainly not how she lives on in my memory. She simply refused to let cancer take over her life. Whenever she was faced with an operation, the first thing she wanted to know was when would she be able to ride her horse, Shimara, again and when could she drive? If the answer was eight weeks, you could bet anything that she would be counting down the clock.
Mum was a very active person. Her lifelong love of horses meant she was still riding up until the last few months of her life. She loved her part-time job as a receptionist at her doctor's surgery. She was never phased by the developments in technology. After her bowel surgery in 2012 she was determined to return to work, and did so.
Travel... Mum loved travelling, and she was an intrepid traveller. In her later years she would make annual trips to the Greek Islands where she would go island hopping with her great friend Anne. She went to Australia a number of times, and was quite happy to get on a plane on her own, or travel with my brother or sister. In those last few months she went on a lovely trip to Cornwall just before her health deteriorated.
Gardening... She loved her garden. She had a wonderful collection of flowers, many of which now have new homes at mine, and at my sister's. The garden was full of colour throughout the warmer months, and it was a great place to spend time. After Dad died in 2009 Mum kept on the vegetable patch which he loved so much. She was rather good at it, although I am not so sure Dad would have approved at the increase in the amount of flowers in the garden. In his eyes things planted in the garden should be edible! She was very dedicated in keeping dad's grave (where of course she is now too) tidy, and with flowers. She would always get so frustrated when the wild animals ate the flowers, which I always found amusing.
Mum loved her family, and she was married to Dad for 49 very happy years. There was a special place in heart for her only grandchild Anna. We would make regular trips to see them in Oxfordshire. During the hour long journey we had some lovely conversations, and it also gave me the opportunity to bore her with my lack of love life woes. She was always so reassuring saying that it would happen, and I just needed to find the right person.
We are a family that doesn't always outwardly display our love and affection for each. It is just always there, though never taken for granted, and sometimes words aren't necessary. As Mum peacefully slipped away she left a peace of paper with a few words on it for me Noel and Ali, "Look after each other"... Just perfect...
I still find it hard to put into words how I feel about losing Mum. So for now what I have written here will have to suffice, barely scratching the surface with a few happy memories. However, I recently came across the song 'Supermarket Flowers' by Ed Sheeran, which I am sure will strike a chord with anyone who has lost a parent. So on Mother's Day raise a glass to your Mum.
